We all know that one person, who is always trying to buy the secret to their happiness.
The secret to most anything I have acquired is through hard work, daily dedication or, sometimes, perfect timing and luck.
I have a friend who is always trying to buy her health and it so frustrating! It drives me up the wall and I find it difficult to watch.
She is overweight and it negatively impacts her daily life, so she is always trying to find the easy way out of her discomfort.
I told her about how much my Vitamix has saved me. How the hassle of what to have for breakfast, or when I need to squash my midday cravings have been circumvented by my Vitamix. I simply drink a smoothie, whenever I feel hungry, instead of opting for something unhealthy, which will make me feel like crap.
It has stopped me from so many things.
It has prevented the scale, from tipping over, from the 150’s to the 160’s, it has curbed my incessant chip craving and it has helped me live a more manageable life. I no longer have to worry about one meal of the day because there is a healthy smoothie waiting for me in the fridge for breaky.
When she bought her Vitamix, a top of the line, all bells and whistles model, I was really happy for her….until the dust settled (literally).
I sat and watched, this extremely expensive device, sit on her counter top, never being used, not even once! She kept lamenting on how complicated it was and how hard it was to clean. Hard to clean? ‘You haven’t yet used it my friend, how would you know?’ I thought to myself.
I wanted to walk the walls, like the girl from The Exorcist. I was so frustrated with my friend and her inability to do the bare minimum, for her health.
That is when I noticed my privilege.
I had grown up in a family where health and being healthy were daily conversations. She had not; she had not been raised with wheat bran and oatmeal, but Fruit Loops and Lucky Charms. How could I expect her to understand this journey?
It can be hard to make a u-turn on habits, which have been cemented in the last thirty years.
It still frustrates me. When she buys size six clothing and tells me how ‘it is her goal weight clothing,’ and I still see that dusty, super expensive Vitamix in the corner of her kitchen. It makes me so mad. I deserve that Vitamix; I am the one who uses it, three or four times a week, not her, but I do want to help her. I also want to stop my internal dialogue of judgement because there are a lot of things she could judge me on.
What I have learned is that you can only help someone else so much.
If someone opts for juice instead of water, you can explain to them what the better choice is, but it will fall on deaf ears, until they are ready.
You can tell them to wake up thirty minutes earlier and simply go for a nice long walk, but unless you are planning on knocking on their front door and cheering them on everyday, be careful. You do not want to become their ambassador to the detriment of your own life.
Do I think it is crazy to spend almost a thousand dollars on a blender, to let it just sit there? Of course I do, but I also realize that breaking bad habits and instilling positive ones can be very, very hard.
My friend bought that blender in the hopes that it would save her. She thought the hard part was shelling out the cash, but it was not; the hard part is the follow through. It is buying the beets, flax seeds, yogurt, fruit and ginger to make your perfect blended breakfast. The hard part is drinking your smoothie, when your office neighbour is munching down on a lovely bacon and egg bagel. It is choosing to make the difficult decision, not once or twice, but everyday, until a habit forms.
I no longer preach to my friend because I know that is not what she wants right now. I try and teach her through living. By my choice to have that healthy smoothie in the morning, send her really great recipes, for her new kitchen toy and by offering to meet for walks, rather than lunches out.
You cannot buy a healthy life.
The real effort comes from personal change and admission of choices, which are not good for our life and future selves, and making the right choice. It is choosing the right choice and not the right now need.
The moment that her goal changes from ‘being skinny’ to being healthy, feeling better and living well, the ‘skinny’ will come.