Why We Think Marriage Equals Success

Its What You’re Suppose to Do…Right?

Go to school, check. Get a good job, check. Get married, check. Have children, check. Live happily ever after, check?

People praise marriage, like it is the solution to all of life’s problems. Like people will miraculously change, shedding all negative aspects of themselves, after exchanging vows.

Marriage changes nothing for the better and usually makes things worse, if there are problems to begin with.

We think marriage equals success because we think that the person has achieved some sort of life milestone. Getting married is not hard, almost any idiot can get married.

Marriage is work. Marriage is a business, but marriage does not guarantee happiness.

Until you are able to be a fully functioning human being independently, you are not ready for marriage.

Many people get married in the hopes that their partner will change or will never change. Marriage is no guarantee and the person you marry on your wedding day will change, as will you. A lifetime is a very long time to stay exactly the same.

I never ask anyone when they are getting married because (a) it is none of my damn business and (b) I do not think marriage is that great.

What I think success is in a relationship, is being there for that person. Being there for the bad times, the boring times and the good times. It is about having the opportunity to stray and choosing not to because what you have is too damn great to ruin. I don’t need marriage for that.

Marriage can be a beautiful thing, but the act of getting married does not guarantee any form of lifelong success. We have marriage ingrained into our psyche from movies, family, traditional values, books and the society we live in. Getting married will not fix anything and will not make anything easier.

Getting married is not something we should be asking people, the way we ask them if they take sugar with their coffee.

Before asking someone when they are getting married, slow down. You do not know all the layers of their life and unless your marriage is some shining star, all the time, do not go around selling a sub-par product to others, without at least, giving them the full truth about marriage.

I write about issues that are near and dear to my heart, with the hope that my stories, experiences, and struggles may empower others: amanlitt.ca

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