Why I Will Not Have A Second Child

7 min readJan 13

I love being a mom.

I adore spending quality time with my daughter, each and every day.

However…parenting today is not what it was when I was growing up.

The role, expectations, income and out-of-home work pressures of mothers and wives have changed drastically.

What has not changed drastically is the role of fathers and husbands.

I am married, but I have a husband and not a wife. I need a wife-type partner if I were to have a second kid.

Though men today are doing more than their father’s generation, they are still not doing enough. I am done praising straight men for ‘helping’ around the house, taking care of their own children and supporting their female partners.

I have a supportive partner. He carries the workload around the house, is a fairly equal partner in parenting our child and understands my need for dedicated time and energy toward my personal and professional goals.


He does not understand what it takes to run a house.

He does not keep track of the groceries that are depleting from the house, does not schedule the grooming appointments for the dog or dentist appointments for the child, he does not buy, write or mail out the holiday cards or gifts, he does not pack for our child when we go on vacation or schedule play dates for her with other kids in the area.

All of that work that men consider or deem irrelevant or easy takes hours upon hours of planning, scheduling, organizing, emailing, calling, driving and following up.

I am stretched too thin already. I would not be able to effectively hold it all together if another child were to be added to the mix, and I am not willing to take the risk.

Women (typically) do all of the unpaid work, which makes the house run seamlessly.


I write about issues that are near and dear to my heart, with the hope that my stories, experiences, and struggles may empower others.