Why I am Not Going Back to Normal

Back to the way things were…

The ‘new’ normal….

Back to reality….

Whatever you want to call the future after all restrictions are released and COVID-19 is slowly transforming into a fading memory versus the consistent, daily reality which it is, nothing will change for the better unless you do.

Pre-COVID-19, I was becoming exhausted with facing this daily journey of self-improvement because I kept waiting for a finish line to arrive.

I kept expecting the journey of self-improvement to come to a nice, clean culmination and for this perfect version of myself, who never screamed, judged, mourned, regretted, or even had a bad hair day simply to appear and take over the wheel.

Well…the bitch never showed up.

I wanted to shed myself and emerge as a new person, but now I am much happier and understanding of that the fact that there is no escaping me.

I no longer wake up and tire of the ramblings in my mind, wishing them away, but rather, try to sit down and understand the root of their concerns.

I no longer wake up and critique the body in the mirror, wishing for corrections here and there, but rather, acknowledge what is good and what needs improvement and how I can healthily do that.

I am always going to exist in this mind and body, but how I use this mind and body is what needs to change.

I cannot hate myself and expect myself to improve at the same time. Self-love comes before self-improvement.

If I have to tell others about my successes in order for it to be real, there is a problem. Do for the sake of doing and the intrinsic reward of the action, not the reaction of others.

Anything I do not like in another person is something I dislike in or about myself.

I have done bad things, but I am not a bad person.

I have made mistakes, but if I do not let them go, they will stay married to my daily thoughts forever.

I will never live a day in another person’s shoes, so I best stop judging how they live that life.

If I learn to continue to quit trying to prove I am right, I will happier more.

If I quit saying how much I have changed and simply continue to show my growth, my actions will truly speak for themselves.

I can spend my whole life blaming others for how my life is turning out or realize that when I blame others, I am driving my car of life blindfolded.

If people want to hold onto a version of me that no longer exists, it is not my job to prove it to them.

If it is not in my control, I best not let it control my thoughts.

I will not let others control how I feel about myself.

Wake up each day with the true, simple belief that today and right now is all that really matters. Yesterday is a memory, learn from it or leave it and tomorrow is a concept, so how much of your real-time are you going to waste on the idea of tomorrow when today is standing right here, ready to go?

Also, remember to forgive yourself each night for the missteps you took that day because there will be missteps.

Let’s not go back to normal, let’s create a much kinder, nicer, inviting future for ourselves and others. Let’s create a place where forgiveness, understanding and empathy, for ourselves and others, runs rampant.

I write about issues that are near and dear to my heart, with the hope that my stories, experiences, and struggles may empower others: amanlitt.ca

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