Why Being the (Female) Breadwinner Sucks

When Women Bringing Home the Bacon Backfires

Aman
12 min readJan 31, 2023

When I was growing up, my father was the breadwinner of the family, and I was wildly aware of this. My dad did shift work, and when he was sleeping during the day, lord help you if you made noise and disrupted his much-needed sleep. When he got home from work, my mother and us children were always very respectful of ensuring he had at least an hour to himself to decompress and enjoy a meal in silence before we were allowed to disturb him.

As a child, this made perfect sense to me and still does. This person went out into the world, worked really hard and provided us with enough money for all of our needs. My dad’s time and energy were important, and as his family, it was our job to provide him support at home, so he could be successful and make money outside of the house.

I am the breadwinner of my family; I am a female in a traditional heterosexual partnership with a child.

I have a large job, and I am currently also in graduate school to continue to advance my professional career trajectory. How my work is seen and supported by my spouse and family is very different from what my father received when I was growing up.

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Aman

I write about issues that are near and dear to my heart, with the hope that my stories, experiences, and struggles may empower others.