How to Stop Fighting About Money with Your Spouse

How to Effectively Manage Financial Differences to Improve Your Relationship for Good

Money and marriage, if there is a deadlier combination, I do not know of it.

In many marriages, the most common area of angst is that one person is an overspender and the other is forced to become (or naturally is) the controller. It can be an exhausting tug-of-war because firstly, who the hell likes to be controlled and secondly, who the hell wants to parent their partner?

When you get married you join forces with another and for better or worse, you join them financially as well.

Nothing shoves sexytime out of the bedroom like a conversation about finances.

There tends to be one partner who overspends or is ambivalent about the financial situation, and the frugal or penny counting counterpart, who is checking the bank balance daily and losing sleep over pending transactions nightly.

Money needs to be a normal topic of conversation and you must learn to speak about money without making money the enemy, nor incriminating your spouse.

What is worse than not dealing with your finances is ignoring them.

Make a weekly or monthly financial check-in.

Having a clear goal will help keep emotions at bay.

Remember, when you are starting to realign your relationship with money, what you are really trying to do is get you and your mate on the same side, and to stop seeing each other as opponents, but rather as teammates, which is critical and also excruciatingly hard to do.

Consistent meetings, plus quitting the blame game is essential for your relationship to succeed financially.

Stop bringing up past missteps to feel good about yourself.

You need to learn to move on from the mistake otherwise it will be the mountain your marriage is murdered on.

Figure out where you go from here, from your current financial reality.

Do not make jokes about money or minimize the mistakes you have made in the past.

Past actions should live in the past, but the lessons they taught should be carried into every present-day and future decision.

Humility will keep you both happy, so quit trying to one-up your spouse.

Once a couple is able to override and control financial differences, other issues seem much more manageable as well. The tactics to manage money can be translated to so many other problematic areas in your relationship, so see this as a great opportunity to fix each area of weakness in your relationship through strategic, planned communication, so that you can leave emotions, history and your weapons at the door and work on creating a healthy, harmonious household with your loved one.

I write about issues that are near and dear to my heart, with the hope that my stories, experiences, and struggles may empower others:

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