I have become very critical about how others talk about their exes and people they do not like. I have become even more critical about how they treat said people.
That could be me one day, so it is important to assess how I may be treated, if I fall from their ‘like’ into their ‘hate’ box in life.
For example, I know a woman, who went out of her way to try and ruin a person’s reputation at work, simply because she felt wronged by this person two years prior.
She held onto a grudge for two (fucking) years.
That is scary and shows you what your fate could be, if you happen to fall onto her hate list.
It also showed me how shallow and vengeful this person was. Though they had been nothing but kind to me thus far, I slowly started to separate from them, until we eventually hardly spoke, after seeing such a disgusting part of her character. Now I just smile and nod when I see her, sure to look too busy to stop and chat.
I do not need to be friends with someone who treats a person they hate like that because it simply is not worth the risk.
I might piss you off one day and then what? You try and sabotage me, years later, just because you do not like me? No thank you, I would rather be alone than with people who are not trustworthy.
I listen very closely to how one speaks of their ex or exes.
Words like crazy, bitch or stupid say much more about the person speaking than whom they are speaking about.
If they were such a crazy, stupid, bitch, why did you date them for three years? Can I hear some accountability or responsibility in this story please? It takes two hands to clap; no one is blameless in a failed relationship.
I know a guy who screenshotted every fight he had with his ex, just to prove me to that she was crazy and he was right. It creeped me out.
Why are you keeping these screenshots, eight months after breaking up? Is the need to prove that you were right and she wrong that important to you? Is it this vital for you to walk around sharing an intimate conversation, which had clearly gone badly, with me?
That’s not fair to her and heartless of him.
The screenshots he felt would validate him only validated that he is not one to be trusted. He will do anything to try and prove his righteousness and that is scary. It also showed how vulnerable and needy he is for the approval of others. I do not take screenshots because I know that my side of a story is simply that, one side of a complicated story.
What would he be willing to do if we had a falling out?
Nope, not worth it, I’m out. Bye boy, bye, I hope I never see you again and I will make sure to never text you anything.
Anyone who talks about their asshole or bitch of an ex is probably one hell of a loser.
You had an intimate relationship with that person, so if they are that terrible, what does that say about you and your worth for staying with them for so long? It speaks very loudly about you and it does not tell me anything about them because I sure as hell do not trust your depiction of them.
Remember, relationships fall apart, even the ones built on the best of intentions, so be careful. If you have a relationship, romantic or friendly, with someone who is vengeful or spiteful, run for the hills because that is their true self.
When they are wronged, they do bad things to those who hurt them and you can never predict the future of any relationship with accuracy.
What they have done to those they dislike, they can do to you, so proceed with caution.
I know what you are thinking, ‘But they are so much fun!’ Yup, I am sure they are fun, but eventually the fun fades and the fanatic will arrive.
Just like the advice telling you to watch how someone treats their server, to see if they are a good person, listen to how they speak about someone they dislike. Their opinion of their unwanted will shine one hell of a light on the type of person they are and if they are worth it.