There is a monumental difference between wanting to and trying to change.
You can live in the wanting to change phase for your entire life, if you really work at it, because it is a phase filled with good intentions.
I will be better tomorrow…. what a lovely concept and everyone around you will root for you, congratulate you and cheer you on.
The problem with the wanting to change phase is that tomorrow comes and goes, but you do not change.
Then you feel terrible about yourself, but hey look! There’s another tomorrow coming! We will start then….yes, yes, and you pat yourself on the back and continue on with your day.
Its just one more day right? You will be better tomorrow.
When tomorrow comes and you flit your eyes open, you realize that it is a Thursday, summer time or your birthday and you decide that today is simply not the right day to start your change.
Changes should commence at the beginning of the week, month, year, hell, maybe even decade for some people, so you tuck away your desire to change for a more ‘appropriate’ time.
The leaves turn and fall. The snow will come and go. Birthdays, holidays and events, good and bad, will all happen, but the wanting to change never turned into the trying to change.
There just was not enough hours in each and every day or you had a fight with your partner or you deserve a break, whatever the reason may be, each day had its own and each day came and went with no progress towards a better self.
Then, finally, one day you will wake up, look in the mirror and decide that it is simply too late to start the change you wanted.
You accept defeat and decide that that better life was not meant for you.
You accept what is as permanent and allow yourself the prison of a mediocre life because you never made yourself a priority….there just simply was not the time…