Thanks for sharing your story. I completely agree; abuse is not to be tolerated, by anyone, regardless of gender. Your story sounds like it was super tough and I am sure counselling and reflection allows you to now see that relationship for what it was.
I completely agree with you, that gender labels can be extremely powerful because of how society deems them. We do not believe that women can be sexual predators, we do not see women as abusers, but as nags, so we create all of these assumptions.
Your comments really made me think….thank you for the wise words.