For the Sake of the Relationship, Shut Up

Dealing with (Difficult) Family Members

I used to envy people who (seemingly) got along so well with their family members.

There is no such thing as a perfect family, but for me, the closest thing to perfection is a reduction of problematic communication.

The secret to successful family visits is shutting (the fuck) up.

If you do not respect the person you who is speaking, why encourage them to continue to speak by disagreeing or countering their ineptitude?

I use to be the queen of having the last word.

I know that silence can be seen as an agreement to the actions being done or words being articulated, but for me, my sanity is worth more than the potential battle which lies ahead.

Is it really our job to make everyone we are related to into upstanding citizens?

There are those who you must simply allow to exist.

Similar to the age-old question of ‘if a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?’ if someone is judging your life, but you do not respect them, does the judgement have value?

Staying silent is (very) difficult, but it can be done.

I have realized that when someone judges me, criticizes my choices, mocks my decisions, or ridicules my way of life, it says so much more about them than it will ever say about me. The hard part is that no matter how many times I remind myself of this, words still sting.

The best piece of advice I have to deal with negative family members is to vent about it after.

Some people do not want to change, they simply want the opportunity to lash out at you.

I have difficult conversations with people who I want to have fulfilling relationships with all the time.

The older I get the more I realize that my time is valuable, so I am becoming much more critical of who I fill said time with. If someone does not bring you joy, you are justified to keep them at an arm’s length from you, for your protection, for the safety of your life, happiness, peace and for your sanity.

I write about issues that are near and dear to my heart, with the hope that my stories, experiences, and struggles may empower others: amanlitt.ca

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