“There are two gifts we should give our children; one is roots, the other is wings.”
Some people need more support than others. Other individuals thrive via independence and struggle, but what happens when these individuals are siblings?
Children should be raised using practices of equity versus equality. If you strive to be fair with your children, you may be raising them within a disadvantaged system.
My parents raised us using equity; we did not all receive the same tokens of love and affection and I appreciate them for using this practice.
I was never jealous of what my siblings received from my parents because I understood that our needs varied. I do better via independent endeavours and in retrospect, enjoy the struggle of attaining my goals.
In the heat of the moment, I would sometimes lash out because the path for some of my siblings seemed so much smoother and much more parentally paved than my own. I felt I was always being flung into the deep end, made to figure it out on my own, all the while while still trying to simply remain afloat.
This tactic has made me a resilient adult, but not without my struggles. I struggle, have struggled a lot and have found support through different systems. I appreciate and respect the value of therapy, self-sufficiency, friendship and determination.
Sometimes I have felt very removed from my family, but in the long run, I know that their support, guidance and love is always there. I have been allowed the opportunity to pave my own way, make my own mistakes and determine what is best for my life, by myself.
Raising children using equitable practices means that support is not always doled out equally. Some children need more one on one time, others need more guidance in decision making, while some need to be given the space to learn through making mistakes.
