Move Over, I’ve Got This

The Alpha Female is Here to Stay

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An Alpha Female is a dominant female in a group. She dates as many males as she wants, is strong and confident, and a hard worker as well as often busy. She is usually sarcastic because she’s powerful and playful. Alpha Females are intelligent, intellectual problem solvers.

Alpha females know that the world does not always make room for one of their kind, but they have no issues asking for the space they need.

“I’m not going to limit myself just because people won’t accept the fact that I can do something else.” — Dolly Parton

Dating an alpha female is dating someone who knows exactly what they want.

They are strong, direct and do not waste time playing games.

I remember, when I was dating, people would be shocked at my demeanour. I was constantly asked, ‘How were you comfortable doing that?’ or I was told, ‘I cannot believe you actually said that.’

I remember, when I started dating my current partner, he wanted the relationship to remain casual. I told him that I understood, but that his want would not work for me. I told him I was an all in or nothing person and he was pretty surprised.

He laughed and told me that no one had ever been so direct with him. I simply told him that I was not someone who wasted time with casual. I like to get as serious and deep, as I possibly can, as quickly as I can, to understand if it’ll work in the long run. I simply did not have the time to waste on something, which will not work out.

Alpha women are very independent and seen as always doing their own thing.

They have no issues being alone, on a Friday night, travelling with friends and not their partner and do not need to be doted on. They are clear with their needs and do not beat around the bush. It can be refreshing to date an Alpha, but it can also be very daunting.

“There are some people who still feel threatened by strong women. That’s their problem. It’s not mine.” — Gloria Allred

Sometimes, men can be intimidated by such a direct nature.

It can be hard to deal with clear expectations, especially in dating, because we tend to waste a lot of time beating around the bush. It can be expected for women to be demure, so it surprises men when you offer to pay the bill or go dutch on the first date.

Many men might initially be attracted to an Alpha, but their relationship might not work out.

When I dated men, accustomed to dating more submissive women, I was told I was overbearing or not staying in my lane. I was told my wants were too much or not ‘normal,’ whatever the hell that means.

When the way things were did not work for me or my life values, I was told to to tow the line; that just does not work with my personal philosophy, period.

I was told that I was not following the path paved out for me, by society (a society created by men), so I kept foraging my own path.

It took me awhile, but I finally found a man, comfortable enough in their own skin, to let me roam my own way.

“I love bossy women. Some people hate the word, and I understand how ‘bossy’ can seem like a shitty way to describe a woman with a determined point of view, but for me, a bossy woman is someone to search out and celebrate. A bossy woman is someone who cares and commits and is a natural leader.” — Amy Poehler

An Alpha female is out to create her own destiny.

Her success is not contingent on yours. She is not threatened or unhappy, if you make less money than her. She is content paying for her own life and supporting her partner, in their personal endeavours.

The Alpha female is sometimes mocked by straight men; she is seen as a ball buster, as wearing the pants in her relationship.

Straight men, who are threatened by her, mock her partner, for taking a backseat in their relationship. These men do not see that no one is in the backseat in said relationship, but rather, that both individuals are in charge and control.

There is some assumption that if a woman has a voice, someone else’s voice has to be muted, which is simply not true; there is room at the table for all voices to be heard, if the table also has respect present.

Being an Alpha female can be a blessing and a curse.

People see you as very assertive, successful and reliable, but you might not receive the emotional support we all need at times.

The biggest takeaway I have learned, over the past thirty years, is that I am even stronger because of my openness of my flaws. The more I share my own failures, weaknesses, missteps and issues, the more real I appear.

“Whether I am meant to or not, I challenge assumptions about women. I do make some people uncomfortable, which I’m well aware of, but that’s just part of coming to grips with what I believe is still one of the most important pieces of unfinished business in human history — empowering women to be able to stand up for themselves.” — Hillary Clinton

The Alpha female was, is and will always be here, so make room for her or she will fight you for it.

Written by

I write about issues that are near and dear to my heart, with the hope that my stories, experiences, and struggles may empower others: amanlitt.ca

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