“Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It’s what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don’t let them take that from you.” — Sherrilyn Kenyon
We have all been betrayed.
We have all also betrayed someone, at some point I am sure.
Betrayal can be a sneaky beast. When someone betrays your trust it can feel earth-shattering.
I have been betrayed recently and it shook me to my core. It made me question who I can trust and if I am too open with people.
I have realized that I am too open with people too soon, so I am working on that.
I have also realized that this betrayal was not my fault, but I wanted to make something positive of it.
How do you make betrayal beautiful?
Simple, learn something from it, grow from it and make peace with your feelings.
Learning from betrayal can be complicated, but very eye-opening.
You can learn from it by realizing what you contributed to the situation. It takes two hands to clap and you have to own your hand in the game. It is not always easy, but we make mistakes and even though we may feel wrong, that other person (who is slime) probably feels wronged in some (bullshit) way too.
Growing from betrayal takes time and reflection.
You cannot compartmentalize your issue, put it in a box and hide it away. This technique does not work, well it works for a while, which can be great, but in the long run, it is not very healthy. Take the time to reflect on what happened, how you feel about it, and determine how to move forward from the negative feelings you are experiencing.
Reflect on the situation, write out your feelings, determine your future footsteps to a better tomorrow and take a step forward.
“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.” — Shannon L. Alder
Making peace with your feelings.
When I am really angry with people, which is (sometimes) more often than not, I really try to remove the feelings from my mind. I imagine myself sweeping the issues out of my mind, by actually visualizing myself sweeping the trash out of my brain.
“For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.” — Suzanne Collins
The worst thing about betrayal is that someone stole your vulnerability.
You trusted someone, during a moment of weakness and they took advantage of it. Whether it is for their personal gain, meaningless gossip or just plain meanness, they stole your trust. Being betrayed can be really hard because it makes you question being vulnerable again in the future, but do not stop! Do not stop being vulnerable because it is the greatest gift ever. So many people live their whole lives without being truly real or raw and that’s just simply a sad life.
Being vulnerable is a real value to life.
It helps you, by releasing your pain and the person you are confiding with because they realize that they too are not alone when it comes to personal struggles. I love being vulnerable and yes, it has bitten me in the ass more than once, but all those ass bites have simply made me stronger and taught me to be more careful as to who I trust. I would never forgo being vulnerable just because someone betrayed me because being honest is what makes me, me.
The thing with betrayal is that it brings out a lot of beautiful things in our lives.
Firstly, it teaches us who the bullshit individuals are in our life and we can now eradicate them, freezing them out, like an unwanted wart. Secondly, it allows you the opportunity to see how you can change your behavior, so that in the future, you are not stuck recycling the same problem over and over again. Thirdly, you allow yourself the opportunity to self improve, or to try at least.
“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” “It was a mistake,” you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.” — David Levithan