Life Doesn’t Get Easier
I was always waiting for the perfect version of myself to arrive.
The person who doesn’t ever fumble, fold or fail.
The person who is always prepared, ready and available for whatever is needed.
The person who never needs a day off, to sit in bed, watch baking shows and let the dishes pile up in the sink.
It was not a realistic goal.
What I was actually trying to achieve was an unrealistic standard where I would never need rest, relaxation or time to step away from the daily routine of life.
Life has not gotten easier as I have aged.
My responsibilities have only increased. My dreams have only grown larger. The amount of time I have in each day seems to shrink with every year. I never seem to have enough of me to go around. I never seem to have enough time for all of the things I want to do in a day. I feel as though I am always keeping one eye on the clock because I have to move on to the next task, item, or responsibility. I even schedule my downtime now, to ensure I commit to relaxing.
The other side of this coin is that I have never loved a chapter as much as my current chapter of life. Sure, my life is messy, and nothing ever really goes the way I hoped it would, but I love my life.
I love my job and feel valued and supported.
I love my family life and spend quality time with my kid every single day.
I love my partner and respect us for sticking through some exceptionally challenging times and really embracing this current chapter of calmness and understanding.
I am (learning) to consistently love myself and realizing that when I am nice to myself, everything else in my life is better.