Why Marry for Something So Obscure as Love When You Can Marry For Something Tangible, Like Money?
Shortly after I got divorced and was getting back into the dating scene, someone who I greatly look up to gave me the oddest piece of advice: “Find a rich guy, leverage your looks, do not marry for love again, but rather, for financial wealth.”
It blew my mind.
Leverage my looks? Is that not prostitution? Marry for money? Why the hell did I bust my ass going to school and getting a good job then?
I should have just focused on the package and not the product, if I was going to marry for money.
I understand what she was trying to say. She was not being bleak or dishonest, she was telling me what she would do, if she was in my position. It was an honest piece of advice, meant to save me from future heartache and demise.
She understood that my attempt at marrying for love had failed, so why not try another route, with a more external focus of happiness?
I have never been reliant on any partner for money. I have always taken care of my own needs and met or exceeded my partners’ incomes.
I have never been a kept woman, but I do romanticize about the idea of being taken care of from time to time.
When I am commuting home, after a long ass work day and maybe an evening class, still having to make dinner and throw in a load of laundry, before continuing to do work for another hour before bed, then rinse and repeat, do it all over again…those are the moments I fantasize about being taken care of.
In this fantasy life, I could sleep in, manage the household and my primary item of the day would be a lunch with other ladies of leisure, where we would eat salads, with dressing on the side, of course, and discuss our outfits for the next soiree. I would always have time for an afternoon nap, my nails would be perfectly manicured and I would never be behind on my exercise routine.
The fantasy does not last long and reality settles in pretty quick.
I could never marry for money. Not because my integrity is so high that I am ethically against it; nope, I am pretty realistic and understand why people marry for reasons other than love.
I could never marry for money because I do not like to be controlled, told what to do or directed on how to live my life, by anyone, ever (just ask my parents).
If I relinquished financial control of my life, I do not know who I would be.
If I did not work ‘all the time,’ like some people accuse me of, I do not know what I would do.
I take sick days and, from time to time, a personal day and I feel like I am ready to crawl the walls by the early afternoon. I am recharged when I am busy, productive and a functioning member of society.
If I was a kept woman I would be a terrible human being.
I would consider doing a load of laundry (and maybe folding it) a productive day. The less I do, the less momentum I have to do anything else. I would watch reality television all day and make excuses for why I cannot seem to keep the house in order.
I will take the compliment, thank you, that you think my genetics have produced a face worthy of a rich person to want to acquire, but the mind I have been bestowed is one of a doer.
I cannot and will not relinquish control of my life for a comfort as minimal as money.
Marry for money? I understand the concept and do not judge individuals who do, do this. Marriage is a business and if financial wealth is your number one priority, then I completely understand marrying for money.
Me? I can’t marry for money because I can easily produce money on my own, but the comfort of snuggling up to someone you loves you no matter what….that I just can’t buy.