I have spent a lot of time in my thirties trying to understand life.
I have tried to figure out what makes me happy, scrutinize what I talk about, how and what I relate to others about, what I do when I am alone and what brings value to my life.
I have found that I like being alone much more now than I ever have in life before.
I enjoy the company of myself and have not felt lonely in a very long time. I also am aware of the fact that being alone is a treat for me because I am not alone that often, so I do realize that being alone can be difficult for some.
I no longer run to social gatherings, just because I am invited, but only go if I think they will bring value to my life.
I am comfortable ‘calling it’ or leaving a social arrangement earlier than most, if I feel that I am no longer enjoying myself or the conversation has started to head down a negative path.
I do not mind being alone on a Friday night, while everyone else is out and about.
I no longer feel the need to fill the void of the lack another person with negative self talk or action.
I am content with my life and myself.
I am comfortable with the mistakes I have made and do not try to cover them up or defend them. I know I have let people down and will do so again in the future, but understand the ebbs and flow of life enough that this no longer causes me anxiety.
I do not seek isolation, but I do not run from it either.
I do not desperately go through my contact list on the weekend to see who I can see for anything because I would rather have the time with myself. My social life has dwindled, but my self awareness has dramatically grown.
My conversations are more meaningful now.
My get-togethers bring me much more joy. Rather than going out, multiple times a week, I now go out a few times a month and when I do, I genuinely look forward to it.
I also have the maturity to understand that a large social life does not equate a happy life. People can be mean; people can bring you down and people are unnecessarily competitive with one another.
I am no longer mean to myself, so when I am solo, I am perfectly confident in knowing I am going to have a great time.
My own company is the only one I trust to ensure I am going to have an amazing time.
I read more. I wake up earlier. I save more money. I am more in tune with my emotions.
I have learned to understand myself; I am learning to love all of myself, not just the good bits.
I love podcasts. I live for true crime documentaries. I appreciate cooking just for myself and no longer make ‘just eggs’, if it is ‘just me’ because I am important and I matter too.
It might look lonely to others, but to me, I am inspired by myself.
I have stepped off of the social staircase of having to be everywhere and say ‘yes’ to everything because many things do not matter and the things which matter most are so simple.
Silence is amazing. Reflection is empowering. Journaling shows me how far I have progressed.
Friendship is life, especially when you have whittled down your people to the people who matter.
No, I am not going out tonight. I am staying home, with myself, because I know I will have an amazing time.