I Finally Understand Why People Fear Being Successful
I use to always think of success in an overly simplistic way and judge people who did not strive for self-improvement because I thought they were lazy.
It always frustrated me when people I knew did not take risks, opportunities or chances which I saw as these amazing occasions for self-betterment.
However, as I have reached and surpassed certain levels of success, I have realized that constantly striving for greater and greater rungs of success can be exhausting, if not managed properly.
Success is not an endpoint, but a beginning.
Achieving a level of success increases your level of responsibility not temporarily, but forever. When you achieve a certain level of success you and the people around you start to expect that same level of output from you, from here on out. You have risen to a higher standard and are expected to consistently meet said standard.
You cannot work diligently for three years to aggressively pay off your student loans and then go back to mismanaging your money. You know better now, so you do better now. The problem with knowing better is that you have to make the right decisions, even when it is hard to do so or you do not particularly feel like it.
As you accumulate levels of success you start to realize that being smart, hardworking and diligent is what creates a successful person, but being smart, hardworking and diligent is exhausting. It can be tiring to be reliable and responsible.
I have been relied on by many people for a very long time. For a while, I even tried to rebel against the success I had acquired because I was tired of being relied on. What I did not realize was that as you attain greater levels of responsibility you have to also start asserting your boundaries just and fiercely.
You cannot keep giving and giving while your responsibilities, dreams and goals continue to grow and grow.
I think that is why a lot of people stop striving for success. I believe that people reach some milestone and start to realize that if they keep accomplishing they will have to keep executing this higher level of effort and they do not want to be held responsible for that, so they stop. They have not aligned their boundaries with their growth, so they are now in a position where they are doing much more without the proper support system backing them up.
Poor self-preservation will exhaust you so much that you will start seeing success as the enemy, instead of your lack of adequate boundaries.
It can be hard, always producing, completing, striving and working towards goals.
Everyone gets tired of their to-do list from time to time, that is normal, and even when you take a break, you know your tasks are patiently waiting for your return. However, if you have mastered self-care, strong boundaries and self-love your desire to succeed will continue to grow in a healthy way. You will realize that you do not need to put a ceiling on your potential because you can grow infinitely, as long as you care about yourself as much as you care about your success.
You will realize that you do not need to put a ceiling on your potential because you can grow infinitely, as long as you care about yourself as much as you care about your success.
This took me forever and a day to realize. You cannot keep working at 100%, burnout and then repeat because it is a terrible state to exist in. You need to learn to live a life of balance, so that you can strive to great heights daily, without the dreaded burnout reappearing cyclically.
You need to learn to live a life of balance, so that you can strive to great heights daily, without the dreaded burnout reappearing cyclically.
I have often reflected, especially over the past few years, about individuals who I have known for years, who have (seemingly) remained in the same spot in life, but now it is really clear to me why they refuse to leave their (uncomfortable) comfort zone. It can be hard to fathom taking on more when you are barely staying above water with what you are dealing with now.
It can be hard to fathom taking on more when you are barely staying above water with what you are dealing with now.
Whether we are dealing with a rut, a mental health issue or are overwhelmed by a lack of support from those around you and yourself, we all reach points in our life where we feel that we simply cannot take on one more thing without imploding.
The problem occurs when we settle into this situation and accept it as our reality. When we determine that nothing can get better, we do nothing to improve our situation and accept defeat in the face of life towering above us, that is it. That is when we have given up and that is the scariest situation to be in.
Stop blaming your to-do list for your stress, anxiety and exhaustion and start looking at your poor boundaries, non-existant self-love and absentee self-respect because they are the true enemies in your life.
You are your own worst enemy and if you do not acknowledge this, and make the necessary adjustments in order to do the hard work for positive change, success will always be something that you believe you are simply not meant for.