How to Make Your Marriage Work
Marriage is complicated.
Marriage (can) be lonely.
Marriage is gratifying when it is working.
Marriage is an ongoing commitment which requires daily attention.
I am not a believer in sticking it out no matter what. I am also not a believer in throwing in the towel when the times get tough.
I do believe in understanding what you need from a successful marriage and shutting out the societal noise.
What does this mean?
Think about the three things you most need from a partner to make you a better person.
For me, I need financial freedom, support in equitably running the house so that I can pursue my academic and professional goals and someone who makes me enjoy the moment, be frivolous or simply relax at the end of the day when it is hard for me to turn my brain off.
What do I not need from my marriage?
I do not need someone who posts on social media how much they love me.
I do not need someone who lavishes me with gifts.
I do not need someone who can financially take care of me.
Some of the most challenging times in our relationship have come because my expectation of a marriage was incorrect. I was trying to make us into something we were not.
I was more focused on what my marriage looked like rather than what it felt like.
I broke out of my unhappy marriage when I realized that the core values my partner bestowed on me were exactly that, exactly what makes me content, respected and better each and every day.
When I stopped trying to control my spouse’s actions and rather communicated my needs in a clear way, I ended up getting exactly what I wanted.
Why?
Because my partner respects me.
If you are in an unhappy marriage, you need to dig down and firstly determine if your partner…
