How to Get Your Husband to Do the Dishes

It is a Thursday evening and you are exhausted.

You contemplate calling in sick to work tomorrow, but you know you can’t because you cannot afford to be out of the office. You are slumped on the couch and can feel the dishes from dinner in the sink calling out to you, “If you don’t wash us now, you will have to deal with us tomorrow too…”

Their threat is real and you know it.

You sigh, gather just enough energy to rouse yourself to your feet and shuffle to the kitchen, determined to get those damn dishes done before you go to bed. Your husband does not move from his position on the couch. It as though he has reserved this seat for life: eyes glued to the screen, game controller in hand and a chilled beer on the coffee table, no coaster, of course.

You longingly and loathingly look at him.

You wish you could have his lack of concern for the daily chores of the house, but you also wish he was more aware of them and how much energy it takes to run this house. It feels as though he thinks a dish fairy comes in each night after he eats a meal, prepared by you, and does the dishes.

Or maybe he just doesn’t give a shit who does the dishes, just so long as it does not infringe on his playtime.

Where the hell is your playtime?

When do you get to chill with that book you bought seven months ago and have not even gotten through the first chapter of? When will you get to finally join your friends for an evening stroll, which you have cancelled every day this week because you have simply had too much to do? When is your time?

If this is you and you have felt very much heard yourself in this narrative thus far, my questions to you are:

What have you asked for in your relationship?

What have you accepted in your relationship?

What have you allowed in your relationship?