Hi Emily,
I am not interested in blasting someone who disagrees with me. One of the primary reasons I write online is to learn how to make my writing more insightful and discussion really helps with that.
I completely agree with what you are saying; it really sucks to lose a friend, but as I get older, I have noticed I am getting tougher with my expectations. I am more than happy to work on a relationship, but competition and jealousy are things which I have a fundamental issue with, especially with my female friends.
I want female allies who are literally that, allies. We need to be encouraging one another and cheering each other on and some women cannot seem to grasp this concept. They see one person’s success as a failure within themselves and that is a tough concept.
This specific friend of mine has been around for a long time and I have struggled with our friendship for quite some time (obviously). I have become very careful as to what I share with her because when I share a struggle, she seems to revel in it, and if I share a success, she always tries to undermine it. I understand that it is an issue she is dealing with herself, more than me, but I feel like my life is a mirror as to where her life is failing.
It is a complicated issue, and I think I am going to write more about it and try to unpack it more.
Have a great day.