Have Women Outgrown Traditional Marriage Roles?
I have been noticing a fascinating transition amongst many women I know: they are outgrowing the traditional needs of a husband.
As women start to take over more and more of the professional workplace their positions and salaries are starting to grow larger and larger as well. I also know multiple women who outearn their spouses in the workplace but still outperform their spouses in the household.
How do we even the playing field?
If a woman is outperforming her partner, professionally speaking, should the male not start taking the lead on the homefront? Wasn’t it the reason women were doing the majority of the housework and child-rearing, to begin with, because they were not as financially relevant? So if that changes and women start bringing home the dollars, shouldn’t their homely duties shift (or decrease) as well?
Before all the decent men start to get offended, I am not talking about you; I am referring to the spouse in a relationship who doesn’t ‘know’ how to cook, who thinks laundry magically gets washed, folded and reappears in the closet, and has absolutely no idea about their children’s weekly schedule.
I am talking about the spouse who does not walk into their house after work thinking to themselves, ‘What needs to be done?’ but rather walks into their house and believes that their day is done.
What happens to this man if their wife starts outearning them in the outside world?
How do they compensate for their lack? Will they start learning new skills, like cooking and cleaning because they realize that they need to be contributing members of the household? Will they leave their lower-paying job, and become the primary caregiver of their children to save on childcare expenses? Or will they do absolutely nothing at all and watch their wife disintegrate from all of the weight she is carrying?
Or would your male ego self-destruct at the very thought of this? Of being a homemaker?
Have I offended you by asking you to do the dishes if you are not making the big bucks? What does that say about you? What does that say about how you value your partner?
If you are not the provider outside of the home, bringing home the bacon and not the nurturer inside the home, creating a place of comfort and peace, then what is your value?
Why should women keep you around?
Because they love you? Love is fickle and it ain’t going to get us to the finish line baby, marriage is a business and each partner has to carry their own weight and bring their own worth.
I do wonder though, as more and more women that I know are starting to outearn their partners, but also continue to be the primary doer within the house when will they reach their breaking point? When will they say that enough is enough and start asking (or demanding) for more support?
As the role of women continues to evolve, when will the expectations of women start to be reevaluated as well?
When will we stop feeling guilty for being successful? When will we realize that we do not need to apologize for making the big bucks and do not need to overcompensate at home by pretending to be Betty Crocker? When will be comfortable enough in our own skin to demand what we deserve and not give a shit about making those around us uncomfortable?