People have a real fear of losing what they have already built. I use to have an extreme fear of it. I was like the little kid on the beach, desperately trying to shield my sand castle from the wicked sea, but the sea always won.
Starting fresh does not mean throwing away everything and starting from scratch. Starting fresh means living wisely and removing the clutter from your life, but it can be really scary.
The clutter in your life can be in the form of relationships, your job, your education, your financial stability or lack of it, work ethic, family and so many other facets.
The idea of getting rid of a person to start fresh can be really, really scary.
The concept of leaving your job to start fresh can keep you up at night from stress.
There can be a lot of objections, justifications and reasons why starting fresh is just not for you.
You’re too old.
You’re too poor.
It is scary.
You don’t know what it will be like.
It could be worse than your current situation.
The list goes on forever and we have all either said these things or heard loved ones say them, sometimes over and over again for years.
I hear you.
It is tough and getting older does not make life easier, but are you happy? Do you find daily joy in all aspects of your life? Is your relationship fulfilling? Does your job inspire you? Do you laugh everyday? Can you easily think of three things you are grateful for?
You should not live your life for the weekend.
You definitely should not slog through life for your retirement years.
At some point, you should admit that you are important in your own life and your feelings count, much more than others.
If you are able to admit this and face this truth head on, maybe you are ready to take a risk.
Starting fresh also does not meeting cutting all ties today. It means researching, reaching out and putting yourself out there. It means doing things you do not normally do, to get out of this rut like reality. It means challenging yourself to face scary situations and accept that you may stumble, fall or fail, with an audience and that is okay.
Ask for help. Reach out to people around you and seek guidance. We are all on this journey together and remember no one wins the game of life because they accepted suffering as their fate.
Life is really beautiful. It is also beautifully challenging each and every day, so there has to be a lot of love to get through the tough times.
What do you not like about your life? Focus on one thing. Now think of one thing you could do today to improve that. Start small, but start.
At the end of my twenties, my life fell apart. I was single, in debt and desperate to find a new start. I met an acquaintance at Starbucks and they said one meaningful thing to me, ‘Just choose one direction and put one foot in front of the other, in that direction.’
That’s it and with a warm hug and love I never saw that person again, but if I saw them today, I would buy them a fancy ass meal, sit them down and tell them how much I have grown since that small, yet very meaningful conversation we had so many years ago.
I am not longer a person desperate to escape my life. I love my life and look forward to all opportunities, experiences and challenges. I laugh everyday and remember vividly a time where I could not even get the energy to visualize a single positive thing about myself or my life.
We can grow. We can get out of the gutter, but we cannot do it alone.
Seek help. Seek support. Accept you are only one person and appreciate the strength and guidance of others.
What are we going to do today to improve today? Let’s not just be, let’s live together, fully.