Do Not Encourage the Incorrigible

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“That’s it, this is the last week of lazy Nelly….starting on Sunday it’s a five-mile run a day, minimum, for me.”

“I’m tired of this job, seriously, this is the last day, tomorrow I am actually, seriously going to quit; enough is enough.”

“I am going to do it, seriously this time. I’m going to write that book by the end of the year, no, the end of the month.”

“I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’m done eating like shit, today is it….diet starts tomorrow.”

And what do we say to all of this?

“Good for you!” …


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When we think about self-improvement, I think a lot of us think about dramatic, drastic changes in ourselves, lives and outlook.

We imagine, waking up one day, running five miles before the sun is up, meditating, drinking a kale smoothie, having a highly productive day, and each and every day at work, coming home and being a positive person to your partner and family and then wrapping the day off with journaling and some self-reflection about just how amazing the day went.

We do not imagine that the road to self-improvement could be simple.

We do not imagine that the road to self-improvement could be simply adding a ten-minute walk into our day after dinner because that is not enough. …


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“Just you wait until you have kids of your own,” my aunt chided softly, but ever-so-surely, “You will lose this ammunition you have for all your little side-projects.”

I looked at my her quizzically and asked, “Why do you act as though the person stops being, learning or growing simply because they become a parent?”

“Because they do,” she snapped back, with the confidence only a boomer can exhibit, “like I said, when you have kids, you will stop doing so damn much.”

I wish I could say that she said all of this while chain-smoking, with hot rollers in her hair, but that is simply not true. …


News Alert: You’re Not Perfect Either

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“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”

― Katharine Hepburn

Marriage is hard when you try to control who you are married to.

Marriage is hard when you try to force your marriage to fit the ideal in your head.

Marriage is hard when you think you can make your marriage into exactly what you want it to be.

It takes two hands to clap and it takes two to make a good (or bad) marriage.

Your way is not the right way, but if you believe it to be the only way, you are bound to have a lot of issues in your happily ever after story. …


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Back to the way things were…

The ‘new’ normal….

Back to reality….

Whatever you want to call the future after all restrictions are released and COVID-19 is slowly transforming into a fading memory versus the consistent, daily reality which it is, nothing will change for the better unless you do.

I have been on a journey of self-improvement for as long as I can remember, and perhaps even longer than that.

Pre-COVID-19, I was becoming exhausted with facing this daily journey of self-improvement because I kept waiting for a finish line to arrive.

I kept expecting the journey of self-improvement to come to a nice, clean culmination and for this perfect version of myself, who never screamed, judged, mourned, regretted, or even had a bad hair day simply to appear and take over the wheel. …


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During this period of extreme uncertainty, it can be difficult to find the motivation to get out of bed in the mornings.

You may be stressed about your relationship, finances, job stability or all three and the weight of the world makes it hard to face the day.

As tempting as it may be to wallow, waste away and be weary right now, I would strongly advise against these temptations.

This is the exact right time to level up.

Why?

The world is never going to go back to the way it was.

We are silly if we are sitting here, waiting for things to go back to normal. Nothing is ever going to go back to normal after this. …


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“Few people have any next, they live from hand to mouth without a plan, and are always at the end of their line.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson, poet and essayist

During times of uncertainty, stress and chaos most people’s first concern is ‘How will I keep myself and my family safe?’

Safe usually entails keeping food on the table, a roof over everyone’s head and a sense of serenity within the household. In order to ensure safety for one’s family, the biggest source of stress comes from money (or lack thereof).

Money, none of us seem to ever have enough of it, but we all seem to spend it quite effortlessly. We never seem to get that savings account to a decent figure, but our closets are filled to the brim, our fridges have ample options to choose from for each meal and we subscribe to every streaming service available. …


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Instagram, Facebook, movies and television shows have given us this false perception of marriage.

We believe that everyone, except for us, is living these fabulous lives, with perfect, doting partners, having seamless, stress-free lives. This is not the case; everyone I know deals with the issues throughout their relationship.

It is silly for us to compare our real life to someone else’s filtered, fabricated and false Instagram feed, if we do, we are always going to feel like we are losing. It is even sillier to think that your marriage is going to be in a permanent state of joy and celebration; that shit would be exhausting.

Could you imagine if that were the case? Waking up, every single day, next to an overly enthusiastic partner, so enamoured with you that they can barely focus on anything else going on? Please, I need my coffee first, and I have things to do, so I cannot be madly in love with you every second of every day. …


A Three-Step Process to Get Your Spouse to Shape Up

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I hear it all the time, ‘My husband does not do enough around the house,’ ‘My partner does not spend enough time with the kids,’ or ‘My wife spends way too much money.’

The reasons for these relationship frustrations are all unique and strikingly similar at the same time. The bottom line is that these individuals are seemingly unaware or unbothered by how their actions or lack of action is impacting their partner and household.

There is nothing worse than having an amazing day, suddenly having a terrible spat with your partner, over something small, stupid or silly, and then spending the rest of the day with a dreary tinge tainting everything. …


You Do Not Have to Work Harder, but Much Smarter…

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As a person who always has multiple things on the go, I am ruthless with how and where I spend my time.

Time is a finite resource, but we use it (or abuse it) as though it is not.

Once you start seeing each day as the valuable, irreplaceable entity it really is, you will start to drastically change how you spend your time.

You will realize that spending a day binge-watching a subpar Netflix series is actually extremely detrimental.

You will realize that putting off exercise for one more day is not as harmless as you used to perceive it to be.

You will realize that ignoring that phone call from a loved one is actually much more selfish than you may have previously felt it was. …

About

Aman

I write about issues that are near and dear to my heart, with the hope that my stories, experiences, and struggles may empower others: amanlitt.ca

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